As I write this, Stephen, Alison and Allie Ruth are probably packing up their belongings and getting ready for their long trip back to Alabama, which includes a bus ride to Hong Kong and three flights! Just typing that makes me a little stressed because I’m sure our itinerary will be similar. But as I’ve said about the whole adoption process (and I know Alison will agree), it’s all worth it.
If you haven’t read Alison’s latest blog post, please make sure to do so. She did an excellent job explaining attachment and bonding as it pertains to AR and how family and friends can help with the process. Alison also touched on the subject in this post too. I think she did a much better job than I did in my previous post, so I may refer you all to her blog again when it gets time to come home with EB.
In addition to what Alison shared in her post, I will add the following rules/guidelines to follow for the next few weeks (or possibly even months). Now Alison didn’t tell me to write this. These are just things I feel would be helpful to them. If she disagrees, I’m sure she’ll let you know to disregard my craziness. 🙂
Make sure it’s ok with Alison before you pick up, hug, or kiss Allie Ruth.
Also, ask permission before giving her food/treats.
Don’t stop by unexpected/uninvited.
Keep in mind they will be recovering from jet lag and a 13 hour time difference (not to mention the obvious of adjusting to life as a family of 5!). They are not going to feel like having visitors for long periods of time. Don’t get aggravated if emails, texts and phone calls aren’t returned within what you think is a reasonable amount of time.
If you are dropping of a meal (which would be much appreciated) don’t get your feelings hurt if you aren’t invited to sit and stay for a while.
- Offer to run errands, take the boys for a few hours or even help clean the house/do laundry.
That’s pretty much all I can think of off the top of my head. I know some of the above may sound nutty to you all. But we have had to read a lot of articles and books and watch many videos during our adoption processes. And for a child who has been in an orphanage her whole life, these rules make perfect sense and are often necessary. We are going to trust the adoption experts with years of experience on this one. And even though I am the one writing out these rules and asking you all to follow them, I’ll probably be the main one who needs help because I want to get my hands on that baby girl so bad!
I also would like to ask you to continue to pray for this precious family.
- Pray that Allie Ruth will do well on the long flights home and that all 3 of them will be able to sleep.
- Pray for no lost luggage, delays and no missed flights!
- Pray that Allie Ruth will love her brothers and that the three siblings will attach and bond quickly.
- Pray for the boys as they adjust to having a new sister.
- Pray for Stephen as he will be going back to work soon.
- Pray for Alison as she will now have three cute kiddos to care for.
- Pray that Allie Ruth will learn English quickly.
- Pray that Allie Ruth will adjust to her new room, house and life in general.
- Pray for Stephen, Ali and AR as they recover from jet lag and the time change.
As for us, we got some very upsetting news yesterday regarding more delays. I still don’t really want to talk about it, but I know I need to let everyone know what’s going on. Actually, I need to make sure I understand it completely before trying to explain it to you all. So I’ll try to post tomorrow or Friday. Just keep us, EB and the remainder of our adoption process in your prayers too. I am doing a little better today, but yesterday was pretty rough at the Lee house.